true love--

Hi.

In the spirit of valentine's day, I've been having a lot of thoughts about true love. What is it? Does it only come from one person? Do you have more than one shot at finding your soul mate? What exactly is a soul mate? I feel like we live in a world where true love comes at a small price. After a year of living for those cheap fixes, I really want to change. I can feel the reason I buy each small cure and each meal. I look at the people I admire the most, and the way that they live so simply, and sometimes I feel ashamed. Other times I just think that we all have different ways of approaching this world.

An old friend and I sat down over tea the other night and she told me that she felt like there was so much of me that changed after freshman year of college. She said that she was scared for me, because I've always been a romantic...But some of that dreamy carefree nature was lost due to circumstances and sadness. I think part of this 180 is gaining back my belief in true love. I think part of it is realizing I don't need to sell myself short in order to be happy...In fact, happiness requires just the opposite.

This week I was really proud of myself for running four out of the seven days (maybe even five counting tomorrow)! I ran two miles each time, making a total of eight miles for the week. I sweat like a crazy person, and enjoyed every minute. (Ok, maybe not every minute. There were a few where I wanted to jump off the treadmill and collapse.) I'm planning to run a 5k in April with Lindsey, and I'm really excited for it. 3.5 miles isn't that crazy for me, right?

So my point is: I'm still learning what this love thing is. I'm hoping by the time I've figured it out it will be a full picture, perfect in all the right places...not naive or jaded, but simple and beautiful.

That's all for now.

--Beth