Hey doods,
this week has been fairly successful so far, especially in the school department. I'm hoping to make the dean's list (never done it before). Last semester was a royal failure (literally), so I want to try and bring my GPA back up and do amazingly well. So far so good. It's only been two days though. :) A good start is important!
In terms of food/work-out routine, here we go: worked out yesterday. Total Body Conditioning class, which was very cool! I may do it again tomorrow. I sweat a lot, and I definitely feel it. Also, I read a bunch of Jillian's book, and learned that I'm a fast oxidizer. This means I should generally try and stay away from carbs (like bread, rice, pasta, etc) and eat tons of protein. Good proteins to eat are chicken (not fried or doused in anything), roast beef, fish (salmon). Not really deli meat. (That surprised me). Also veggies are good. I had pb toast (1 slice) for breakfast both yesterday and today, and that seemed to be a great start to my day! for lunch, something light-ish. Today I had roast beef on wheat, non-fat yogurt (key lime, mmn), and a little tupperware container of soy-crisps. One thing I'm going to have to get used to is not drinking so much caffeine (diet coke will have to be caffeine free). Also, slowly phasing out carbs is going to be interesting. Tonight I'm making Chicken cooked in basil and light olivio, green beans, and rice pilaf. I'm skipping the gym today because I've been crazy all day long. In other news, I'm going to try and up my gym trips to 4 times a week. I will be proud if I do that.
Life is good. I'm feeling good.
<3
Love the love the love love love.
--Beth
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
The battle of the bulge. :)
Like my title? My dad told me that one. (LMAO.) Exciting news: my dad is starting a blog of his own! He was inspired by the fact that I started one, and so he decided to kick it into gear, too. If you would like to read his, it's located here:
www.sixninetwelvethree.blogspot.com
So that is my shameless plug for him. I'm really proud that he's trying to do something good for himself. It's also encouraging to be doing this not only with Chris, but with my dad. So good.
Anyway. This week I did really well eating healthy. I was eating salads and well rounded meals, and I didn't eat before bed. Then Friday I hit the road for my gigs. I had two this weekend, one in western MA and the other in CT. They both went pretty well, but I was surrounded by friends (which might make me eat less in some circumstances) and stayed out late at diners and such. I even stopped at Wendy's for a meal on my way back up to Boston (erg). The other thing to keep in mind is that I only made it to the gym twice this week. Both were yoga classes, and those aren't as strenuous or sweaty as some of the other things I could have been doing. The point is, I'm going to try try again.
Last night I bought myself a couple of things at target for the upcoming semester. (It starts today! My very first class is at 2.) While I was there I also bought myself an iron gym (hahaha) and Jillian Michael's book entitled "Making the Cut". I was inspired by the dedication: TO THE INNER BADASS LIVING INSIDE US ALL. (hehe.) So I started reading the book last night, and realized that it may not be the book for me. Here's the reason: Ultimately, I may want to lose more than 20 pounds, and this book seems to be mostly for people who are just trying to shed a few and do some toning. But, rather than waste $11, I'm going to keep reading and take what I can from it. She has another book that I may buy tonight at the COOP before work, and it seems to be more my speed. It's entitled "Losing to Gain", and it's for people who are really looking to make a lifestyle change. If I look at that book and I think that maybe I can make due with this one instead, I'll stick it out.
In other news, I switched on the BMI calculator (just to see). They categorized me as obese? I'm not sure if that's the word I'd use to describe myself, so I'm just trying to ignore that. (Hahaha.) I know that I'm overweight, but definitely not obese. Some things are just not meant to be done. I think there are some diet tools that don't promote good. The BMI thing made me sad more than anything. I've realized as I've started this project that weighing myself every week isn't an option. It's too depressing for me. Instead, I will start to weigh myself every other week. I don't know that I'll post about it, because the number is not necessarily something I want public...I'd rather talk about the changes that are eventually getting me to the number.
This is what today looks like: Peanut butter toast for breakfast (1 slice), workout at noon (total body conditioning), shower, class, some kind of healthy snack, salad before work, WORK. It's gonna be great.
Signing out as we all fight the battle of the bulge,
--Beth
www.sixninetwelvethree.blogspot.com
So that is my shameless plug for him. I'm really proud that he's trying to do something good for himself. It's also encouraging to be doing this not only with Chris, but with my dad. So good.
Anyway. This week I did really well eating healthy. I was eating salads and well rounded meals, and I didn't eat before bed. Then Friday I hit the road for my gigs. I had two this weekend, one in western MA and the other in CT. They both went pretty well, but I was surrounded by friends (which might make me eat less in some circumstances) and stayed out late at diners and such. I even stopped at Wendy's for a meal on my way back up to Boston (erg). The other thing to keep in mind is that I only made it to the gym twice this week. Both were yoga classes, and those aren't as strenuous or sweaty as some of the other things I could have been doing. The point is, I'm going to try try again.
Last night I bought myself a couple of things at target for the upcoming semester. (It starts today! My very first class is at 2.) While I was there I also bought myself an iron gym (hahaha) and Jillian Michael's book entitled "Making the Cut". I was inspired by the dedication: TO THE INNER BADASS LIVING INSIDE US ALL. (hehe.) So I started reading the book last night, and realized that it may not be the book for me. Here's the reason: Ultimately, I may want to lose more than 20 pounds, and this book seems to be mostly for people who are just trying to shed a few and do some toning. But, rather than waste $11, I'm going to keep reading and take what I can from it. She has another book that I may buy tonight at the COOP before work, and it seems to be more my speed. It's entitled "Losing to Gain", and it's for people who are really looking to make a lifestyle change. If I look at that book and I think that maybe I can make due with this one instead, I'll stick it out.
In other news, I switched on the BMI calculator (just to see). They categorized me as obese? I'm not sure if that's the word I'd use to describe myself, so I'm just trying to ignore that. (Hahaha.) I know that I'm overweight, but definitely not obese. Some things are just not meant to be done. I think there are some diet tools that don't promote good. The BMI thing made me sad more than anything. I've realized as I've started this project that weighing myself every week isn't an option. It's too depressing for me. Instead, I will start to weigh myself every other week. I don't know that I'll post about it, because the number is not necessarily something I want public...I'd rather talk about the changes that are eventually getting me to the number.
This is what today looks like: Peanut butter toast for breakfast (1 slice), workout at noon (total body conditioning), shower, class, some kind of healthy snack, salad before work, WORK. It's gonna be great.
Signing out as we all fight the battle of the bulge,
--Beth
Monday, January 18, 2010
self-care
It's been hard the last few days. I won't lie. I play this little game with myself: I tell myself, "Self, it's ok. It's the weekend. Eat whatever you want! Give yourself a break!" But then "ok it's the weekend" turns into "ok it's monday" which turns into "who cares". I am only 21, but what if I wake up when I'm 30 and I've gained 100 pounds over the course of 9 years? These are the things that scare me when I watch "Biggest Loser". A lot of those people were once average weight. Now they're in danger of having a heart attack.
I bought a thing of Breyer's rocky road (which is a huge weakness) and stuck it in my refrigerator and have been chipping away at it since Friday. Those are huge tubs of ice cream! I did not ration it out well. I've been doing well going to the gym, but eating is still a problem.
Morale has also been low over the last couple of days. I've just had this lonely needy feeling eating away at me a little bit, and it sucks. I would like to just ignore it. Maybe that's what I need to do to get back to proactive healthy Beth. Sometimes I slip into sad emo panda Beth without even noticing. I don't ever want that girl to take the driver's seat again. (Realistically, she will. But I don't want her to.)
Here's my plan of attack: this week I will begin to try to focus on two things at once: eating and working out. I've got the working out thing down pretty well. (I really love the classes I've been taking at BSC.) Now I'd like to add some protein/vegetables into the equation and subtract some desserts. I'll try to be realistic about the whole thing and won't over-shoot my goal (fasting completely from any one thing is a bad idea this week).
Tonight I'm working at the School of Music (at Passim). I'm going to get myself a salad at veggie planet and a small side of bread, and hunker down to do some interweb networking. Yay for goals.
Tomorrow I gym it up. Yoga at 4:30 or Tae Kwon Do at 5:30?
<3
All of my hope,
--Beth
I bought a thing of Breyer's rocky road (which is a huge weakness) and stuck it in my refrigerator and have been chipping away at it since Friday. Those are huge tubs of ice cream! I did not ration it out well. I've been doing well going to the gym, but eating is still a problem.
Morale has also been low over the last couple of days. I've just had this lonely needy feeling eating away at me a little bit, and it sucks. I would like to just ignore it. Maybe that's what I need to do to get back to proactive healthy Beth. Sometimes I slip into sad emo panda Beth without even noticing. I don't ever want that girl to take the driver's seat again. (Realistically, she will. But I don't want her to.)
Here's my plan of attack: this week I will begin to try to focus on two things at once: eating and working out. I've got the working out thing down pretty well. (I really love the classes I've been taking at BSC.) Now I'd like to add some protein/vegetables into the equation and subtract some desserts. I'll try to be realistic about the whole thing and won't over-shoot my goal (fasting completely from any one thing is a bad idea this week).
Tonight I'm working at the School of Music (at Passim). I'm going to get myself a salad at veggie planet and a small side of bread, and hunker down to do some interweb networking. Yay for goals.
Tomorrow I gym it up. Yoga at 4:30 or Tae Kwon Do at 5:30?
<3
All of my hope,
--Beth
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
woke up this morning and suddenly realized that we're all in this together--
Hey doods,
I am no longer sick. I do not have an excuse to neglect my blogalog anymore. I was really on a roll with the gym, and last week I was so sick that I just couldn't make myself go everyday. I went twice the entire week! Lame. But sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is stay in bed. Most of the time that's not true for me. When I'm sick, it REALLY is.
So things on my to do list for today: go to Goodyear and get my car looked at (it sounds like a tugboat when I drive it), go to the gym, and spend some good quality time at the open mic with Gabriel.
GOALS: no dessert. Minimal carbs.
This all sounds easy enough to manage. I think one thing I've realized doing this 180 is that I often set my goals way too high and let myself down. After the summer, I went on a crash diet (Atkins), and didn't eat ANY carbs for three weeks (I think). I lost a couple of pounds (like TWO), but ultimately it wasn't changing any of my eating habits. I was still relating to food the same way. It's become an effort NOT to relate to it the way I want to; as some sort of cure for pain or loneliness. I'm slowly coming to a place where I want something else to fill that spot. I'm not positive what that one thing is yet, but I do know that it has something to do with all of the healthy things I do in my life: gym, music, reading, time with the people I love, devotionals, mix CDS, listening to a friend in need, Sundays at SLAM, physical affection, etc. Maybe these things put together are some sort of picture of God? I don't know.
Anyway, time to start my day.
Encouragement to all of you on your new year feet! Know that change is hard, slow, but worth it.
<3
Love,
--Beth
I am no longer sick. I do not have an excuse to neglect my blogalog anymore. I was really on a roll with the gym, and last week I was so sick that I just couldn't make myself go everyday. I went twice the entire week! Lame. But sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is stay in bed. Most of the time that's not true for me. When I'm sick, it REALLY is.
So things on my to do list for today: go to Goodyear and get my car looked at (it sounds like a tugboat when I drive it), go to the gym, and spend some good quality time at the open mic with Gabriel.
GOALS: no dessert. Minimal carbs.
This all sounds easy enough to manage. I think one thing I've realized doing this 180 is that I often set my goals way too high and let myself down. After the summer, I went on a crash diet (Atkins), and didn't eat ANY carbs for three weeks (I think). I lost a couple of pounds (like TWO), but ultimately it wasn't changing any of my eating habits. I was still relating to food the same way. It's become an effort NOT to relate to it the way I want to; as some sort of cure for pain or loneliness. I'm slowly coming to a place where I want something else to fill that spot. I'm not positive what that one thing is yet, but I do know that it has something to do with all of the healthy things I do in my life: gym, music, reading, time with the people I love, devotionals, mix CDS, listening to a friend in need, Sundays at SLAM, physical affection, etc. Maybe these things put together are some sort of picture of God? I don't know.
Anyway, time to start my day.
Encouragement to all of you on your new year feet! Know that change is hard, slow, but worth it.
<3
Love,
--Beth
Saturday, January 9, 2010
SICK!
Dear friends,
sorry I have not been diligent with my posts this week. I am coughing my brains out nearly every morning and night. And a little bit in the middle of the day. It will be over soon, I hope. And then I can get back to being healthy/happy/gym-ee.
Love you all!
--B
sorry I have not been diligent with my posts this week. I am coughing my brains out nearly every morning and night. And a little bit in the middle of the day. It will be over soon, I hope. And then I can get back to being healthy/happy/gym-ee.
Love you all!
--B
Monday, January 4, 2010
and I'm looking for rexroth's daughter, a friend of a friend of mine.
hey doods.
I'm feeling better and better as I've been working out at BSC. I've done a lot of the classes already (pilates, yoga--two kinds, kickboxing) and they've all been awesome. an hour long class is just what I need to get a proper sweat on, and really feel it in the morning. I've tried to go every other day for good measure. I also went to trader joe's and got myself some groceries so I'm not eating out everyday (good for my wallet and my belly). January is shaping up to be a good month.
on Thursday I've got a cool gig in JP with my friend Danielle. I'm excited to be able to devote a bit more time to the things that I really love over the next few weeks. I neglect them when I'm in school, and it's sad.
I saw Cameron and his little one today...Gavin is the most adorable little peanut, and it's amazing to see the two of them together. Cameron is a great dad. we talked about all the things we always talk about and bonded over lattes at diesel. I was sad not to hold Gavin because I'm sick! :( I need to get better ASAP so that I can touch people again.
lame.
anywho.
that's my life right now! I love break.
big heart,
--Beth
I'm feeling better and better as I've been working out at BSC. I've done a lot of the classes already (pilates, yoga--two kinds, kickboxing) and they've all been awesome. an hour long class is just what I need to get a proper sweat on, and really feel it in the morning. I've tried to go every other day for good measure. I also went to trader joe's and got myself some groceries so I'm not eating out everyday (good for my wallet and my belly). January is shaping up to be a good month.
on Thursday I've got a cool gig in JP with my friend Danielle. I'm excited to be able to devote a bit more time to the things that I really love over the next few weeks. I neglect them when I'm in school, and it's sad.
I saw Cameron and his little one today...Gavin is the most adorable little peanut, and it's amazing to see the two of them together. Cameron is a great dad. we talked about all the things we always talk about and bonded over lattes at diesel. I was sad not to hold Gavin because I'm sick! :( I need to get better ASAP so that I can touch people again.
lame.
anywho.
that's my life right now! I love break.
big heart,
--Beth
Friday, January 1, 2010
happy new year baby, we could probly' fix it if we cleaned it up all day.
This is my reflection post for 2009. It is now over and done with, thank the lord. This post will be done free of any tools such as old journals, pictures, or lifeline phone calls.
I will be listening to Antje while I conduct this reflection. :)
JANUARY:
THE BREAK UP. This was a horrible horrible month. I spent the beginning of it grasping for something to hold on to that wasn't my ex. I ate my pain. While it sucked, it was definitely a necessary month. I cut my hair. Woah! I went from being somewhere in between femme and butch to full on butch. I gained a bit of confidence from this switch. But I also lost a few things? Maybe I lost some of my sweet innocence? I was pretty angry with life. Other things of note: Obama comes into office, I begin my job at Passim, I start going to BAGLY every Wednesday. I spend a few very lonely days in NH with my parents, retreating from who knows what...I listen to a lot of Andrea Gibson and cry into my green NH hoody. Kissed a girl who I would never date seriously.
FEBRUARY:
Campfire with KB, Dami, and Jeff. Talked to We're About 9 after the show, exchanged contact info. That was cool. Opening for Vance Gilbert? I think? Lonely valentine's day...I don't remember specifically what I did, but it was lonely. This month was one of those transitional months. Not too much of interest to note. Thought about dating a girl who wasn't right for me (too much granola). Cooked her dinner, realized I was crazy.
MARCH:
Lauren's birthday. Lots of drunk college students at my house. Too much clean-up. Still, fairly entertaining! My 21st birthday...strange phone calls with Kim, finally we agreed on seeing the girlyman concert together. My birthday was actually pretty fantastic, apart from the fact that it was sad seeing her. This was the month that I really started to get to know Lindsey. On the 28th, she and Matt took me for drinks at midnight after a girlyman show at the Border (their treat). I had two margaritas, and totally felt it. We drove home listening to Pink. I got my tattoo! "Blackbird singing in the dead of night..."
APRIL:
Lots of Lindsey this month. Things started getting warmer, happier. I remember a lot of Anais in my life. "the brightness" was essential. My song for this month was "Out of Pawn". I really started getting into trans stuff...I wrote a ton of papers for directed studies and got A's on all of them. Watched Transamerica with Lindsey, snuggled on the couch.
MAY:
Things started winding down for the semester...I got ready to move out of that God-forsaken 69 Bromfield House (we're still getting calls about bills). Had some roommate squabbles. I finally moved out toward the end of the month, headed for NH in my overstuffed car. I knew I would be back in Boston for a lot of the summer. I wrote a song about people putting all their junk on the curbs. I spent the end of this month collecting myself after the semester.
JUNE:
Lots of wandering! I drove a lot of places, some of them very strange and random. I slept on a ton of couches. Forever indebted to people who gave me a place to stay: Leif, Tim and Alice, Jeff, Lindsey, my parents, JessJasonEllen, Tom, Grandma. I was really just kickstarting the summer in this month, though. I did a lot of sleeping in and commuting to Boston to work, staying up late thinking about things that I didn't need to think about. I had a relapse with the ex, thought better of it.
JULY:
Not much to say about this month...NH to Boston a lot. Lots of Lindsey time. Concerts up the wazoo. Ferrick and Curtis in Lowell? I think? Or was that August? I'm not sure. Either way, that was a really good time. I played a few little gigs here and there.
AUGUST:
Major things of note: I adopted a puppy. Oh dear. This was pre-move in, or while I was moving in. It was a bad decision, but luckily I found her a good home when I decided to give her up. It was kind of like giving up a child. A little bit. She would have been stuck in a room all day long, and that would be mean. I am just too busy for a dog right now! Other things: getting ready for the semester to start, dog watching at Tim and Alice's, spending time with Lauren...Opening for Meg? I think? I don't remember. Either way, that's in here somewhere. Pretty awesome night. She fed me whiskey, and I got to sing with her on "Home"! She's the sweetest of sweethearts.
SEPTEMBER:
School starts. I spent a lot of time goofing off, not enough time doing actual work, and it showed in my grades. I met a brown eyed/long haired girl who roped me in, and then realized it would never work (thank God). Went to the beach with Dija a lot, drove to Lynn and Medford a lot. Skipped a LOT of classes. :)
OCTOBER:
Things are solid with Lindsey (finally). No more on again off again. I was very poor this month...really in September, too. I had lots of tickets to pay and debts to take care of and no money to do it. Eventually fixed that, though. Halloween was pretty cool (it usually is). Went to VBC for a gig, came back home and watched Buffy with Linds and stuffed our faces full of halloween candy. Good month.
NOVEMBER:
Still pretty poor. Getting close to not being poor. :) Lindsey's birthday. Anais. Realizing how screwed I was in terms of my grades...Starting to try and get to the gym again. This was one of those slightly crappy reflective months.
DECEMBER:
I resolve to try and lose weight (slowly but surely). Chris inspired me, and I'm still trying. I join the gym (BSC) due to a generous Christmas gift. Lots of shows at Passim. Semester wraps up (thank God), and Christmas happens...Lori Mckenna makes me cry (as per usual), and I'm starting to look forward to 2010, ready for it to kick in and pick me up off of my crazy self. I start to do devotionals again, maybe think about what God could mean in all of this.
This brings us up to date.
WOAH. What a year.
Love to you and yours,
--Beth
I will be listening to Antje while I conduct this reflection. :)
JANUARY:
THE BREAK UP. This was a horrible horrible month. I spent the beginning of it grasping for something to hold on to that wasn't my ex. I ate my pain. While it sucked, it was definitely a necessary month. I cut my hair. Woah! I went from being somewhere in between femme and butch to full on butch. I gained a bit of confidence from this switch. But I also lost a few things? Maybe I lost some of my sweet innocence? I was pretty angry with life. Other things of note: Obama comes into office, I begin my job at Passim, I start going to BAGLY every Wednesday. I spend a few very lonely days in NH with my parents, retreating from who knows what...I listen to a lot of Andrea Gibson and cry into my green NH hoody. Kissed a girl who I would never date seriously.
FEBRUARY:
Campfire with KB, Dami, and Jeff. Talked to We're About 9 after the show, exchanged contact info. That was cool. Opening for Vance Gilbert? I think? Lonely valentine's day...I don't remember specifically what I did, but it was lonely. This month was one of those transitional months. Not too much of interest to note. Thought about dating a girl who wasn't right for me (too much granola). Cooked her dinner, realized I was crazy.
MARCH:
Lauren's birthday. Lots of drunk college students at my house. Too much clean-up. Still, fairly entertaining! My 21st birthday...strange phone calls with Kim, finally we agreed on seeing the girlyman concert together. My birthday was actually pretty fantastic, apart from the fact that it was sad seeing her. This was the month that I really started to get to know Lindsey. On the 28th, she and Matt took me for drinks at midnight after a girlyman show at the Border (their treat). I had two margaritas, and totally felt it. We drove home listening to Pink. I got my tattoo! "Blackbird singing in the dead of night..."
APRIL:
Lots of Lindsey this month. Things started getting warmer, happier. I remember a lot of Anais in my life. "the brightness" was essential. My song for this month was "Out of Pawn". I really started getting into trans stuff...I wrote a ton of papers for directed studies and got A's on all of them. Watched Transamerica with Lindsey, snuggled on the couch.
MAY:
Things started winding down for the semester...I got ready to move out of that God-forsaken 69 Bromfield House (we're still getting calls about bills). Had some roommate squabbles. I finally moved out toward the end of the month, headed for NH in my overstuffed car. I knew I would be back in Boston for a lot of the summer. I wrote a song about people putting all their junk on the curbs. I spent the end of this month collecting myself after the semester.
JUNE:
Lots of wandering! I drove a lot of places, some of them very strange and random. I slept on a ton of couches. Forever indebted to people who gave me a place to stay: Leif, Tim and Alice, Jeff, Lindsey, my parents, JessJasonEllen, Tom, Grandma. I was really just kickstarting the summer in this month, though. I did a lot of sleeping in and commuting to Boston to work, staying up late thinking about things that I didn't need to think about. I had a relapse with the ex, thought better of it.
JULY:
Not much to say about this month...NH to Boston a lot. Lots of Lindsey time. Concerts up the wazoo. Ferrick and Curtis in Lowell? I think? Or was that August? I'm not sure. Either way, that was a really good time. I played a few little gigs here and there.
AUGUST:
Major things of note: I adopted a puppy. Oh dear. This was pre-move in, or while I was moving in. It was a bad decision, but luckily I found her a good home when I decided to give her up. It was kind of like giving up a child. A little bit. She would have been stuck in a room all day long, and that would be mean. I am just too busy for a dog right now! Other things: getting ready for the semester to start, dog watching at Tim and Alice's, spending time with Lauren...Opening for Meg? I think? I don't remember. Either way, that's in here somewhere. Pretty awesome night. She fed me whiskey, and I got to sing with her on "Home"! She's the sweetest of sweethearts.
SEPTEMBER:
School starts. I spent a lot of time goofing off, not enough time doing actual work, and it showed in my grades. I met a brown eyed/long haired girl who roped me in, and then realized it would never work (thank God). Went to the beach with Dija a lot, drove to Lynn and Medford a lot. Skipped a LOT of classes. :)
OCTOBER:
Things are solid with Lindsey (finally). No more on again off again. I was very poor this month...really in September, too. I had lots of tickets to pay and debts to take care of and no money to do it. Eventually fixed that, though. Halloween was pretty cool (it usually is). Went to VBC for a gig, came back home and watched Buffy with Linds and stuffed our faces full of halloween candy. Good month.
NOVEMBER:
Still pretty poor. Getting close to not being poor. :) Lindsey's birthday. Anais. Realizing how screwed I was in terms of my grades...Starting to try and get to the gym again. This was one of those slightly crappy reflective months.
DECEMBER:
I resolve to try and lose weight (slowly but surely). Chris inspired me, and I'm still trying. I join the gym (BSC) due to a generous Christmas gift. Lots of shows at Passim. Semester wraps up (thank God), and Christmas happens...Lori Mckenna makes me cry (as per usual), and I'm starting to look forward to 2010, ready for it to kick in and pick me up off of my crazy self. I start to do devotionals again, maybe think about what God could mean in all of this.
This brings us up to date.
WOAH. What a year.
Love to you and yours,
--Beth
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