Hey dudes,
today I cheated for the first time in probably two weeks. Maybe one and 1/2. The first half of the day was successful, but then I really wanted some wings for dinner. Wings, french fries, and diet coke. Haha...Then I had a kiddie sundae from j.p. licks. I don't feel that guilty, because I've been so good for the last 11 days...with my new knowledge about the way that calories work, it doesn't freak me out. I've been running regularly, gym-ing, etc. Tomorrow I've got personal training. I just hope that if I've lost some, it shows, instead of being hidden underneath my extra calories tonight. :)
In other news, I got my nose pierced! It looks pretty B.A. if I do say so myself.
On a more serious note, sending prayers out to those in Chile and Hawaii...Scary stuff.
Love from my lips,
--Beth
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
My pants are getting looser!
This week: not as hard as I thought it would be. I've stayed on track with my eating. I started a food log, which has been great and effective...Also still sending my nightly e-mails to mama. By the end of this week I will have had 4 gym visits and one very rainy run at the Bunker Hill soccer field. That's basically the same as what I did last week. Bunker Hill was fun! I think the next time it rains I will attempt to do the same thing. I ran the track 4 times...not sure if that equals a mile or 2 in this field. But it was enough to get my HR up, and I was so soaked, sore, and cold by the end that I figured I deserved to go home and sleep. :) Today I'm going to meet Lindsey at 5 at the gym and get my workout on...then shower and head to Meg Hutchinson. This weekend I'm going to try the Zumba dance class! Also, another personal training session on Sunday.
This week has been crazy tiring, so I let myself sleep in super late this morning...I woke up at 12:45 from a nutty dream. (Don't worry, I won't describe it to you.) Last night I was the feature performer at Transcriptions which was pretty cool! Even though the rain was a little crazy, there were still 20-30 people there, and they were all good listeners. That's what counts. The bar crowds generally drive me crazy. Too much beer + folk music = no good for the performer. It's always really amazing for me to see a group of queer people under a church roof. Last night was particularly special, because it was SLAM and Transcriptions. I met some really awesome folks, and got lots of names on my mailing list. Keep it growing!
In terms of foods, I haven't been tempted to stray (surprisingly)! I try to start my day out with a filling breakfast (granola and yogurt or oatmeal). Then I have a light lunch (salad, a sandwich with carrot sticks, something like one of those). Dinner varies, but it's always healthy. Portion control has been a big part of this, and cutting down on caffeinated beverages (they slow down your metabolism, and mine is already slow enough). Juice boxes are great, because they are small (portion control) and really don't have too much in the way of calories or sugar (depending on the brand). Everything in moderation.
When I think about eating a burger or french fries or chicken fingers, I remember that I have the free will to do that. I can, but I choose not to. Because I always feel better when I eat a healthy alternative! It's just the truth. Once in awhile you just need to cheat, though.
Anyway...
That's my update for ya'll...hopefully on Sunday I'll have some good news about weight loss. If not, no worries. There is always next week. Sometimes my body takes a little time to adjust to new habits and shed those pounds.
Love,
--Beth
This week has been crazy tiring, so I let myself sleep in super late this morning...I woke up at 12:45 from a nutty dream. (Don't worry, I won't describe it to you.) Last night I was the feature performer at Transcriptions which was pretty cool! Even though the rain was a little crazy, there were still 20-30 people there, and they were all good listeners. That's what counts. The bar crowds generally drive me crazy. Too much beer + folk music = no good for the performer. It's always really amazing for me to see a group of queer people under a church roof. Last night was particularly special, because it was SLAM and Transcriptions. I met some really awesome folks, and got lots of names on my mailing list. Keep it growing!
In terms of foods, I haven't been tempted to stray (surprisingly)! I try to start my day out with a filling breakfast (granola and yogurt or oatmeal). Then I have a light lunch (salad, a sandwich with carrot sticks, something like one of those). Dinner varies, but it's always healthy. Portion control has been a big part of this, and cutting down on caffeinated beverages (they slow down your metabolism, and mine is already slow enough). Juice boxes are great, because they are small (portion control) and really don't have too much in the way of calories or sugar (depending on the brand). Everything in moderation.
When I think about eating a burger or french fries or chicken fingers, I remember that I have the free will to do that. I can, but I choose not to. Because I always feel better when I eat a healthy alternative! It's just the truth. Once in awhile you just need to cheat, though.
Anyway...
That's my update for ya'll...hopefully on Sunday I'll have some good news about weight loss. If not, no worries. There is always next week. Sometimes my body takes a little time to adjust to new habits and shed those pounds.
Love,
--Beth
Monday, February 22, 2010
Monday...
So this is going to be a rough week, I can feel it. Last week it was so impressive to me that I could make it to the gym five days out of the week, now it just needs to start becoming routine. It's been a build up...From running two weeks ago, to last week, to this one. Also, I finally provided myself with the resources to eat healthy, now I actually need to follow through everyday (instead of eating out when I'm on the go). My point is, I could use your prayers and support this week especially.
Today I plan on leaving for the gym soon. I had a nice cup of yogurt with granola in it for breakfast. Gym, shower, then a quick lunch before I leave for school (2:00 Chorus class). I woke up this morning with the shivers, both because it was freezing in my house and because I had one of those anxiety producing dreams. This one was really strange and symbolic though: my brother and I were on our way to do something important, and I stopped to touch a bird. Why was I touching the bird? Why did the bird let me get close enough to touch it? I don't know. :) It was a beautiful red robin...and then the robin started to peck at me violently. That was pretty terrifying. So my brother ran to get something to use to anesthetize it, and in the process I accidentally consumed some, too. My ears started to slowly lose their hearing (like when you pass out), and I was really panicking. That's when the dream ended and I woke up. ?? STRANGE.
So yesterday I went to personal training with Lindsey. I think it may become a weekly thing. Her trainer (who is also named Beth) lost 35 pounds after college. Now she's basically a gym Goddess. :) She ran a marathon recently (and I know she's run them before that). This gives me hope. Since 35 pounds would be an amazing amount for me to lose, I felt like I could relate to her and not be so bitter about weighing in, or feel embarrassed about my current weight. Anyway, I bet if I stick to my good eating habits, don't eat before bed, and go to the gym everyday this week, I could lose two pounds by Sunday. That is my hope and prayer.
Anyway...I feel like this 180 thing is consuming a lot of my time! I guess that's good, because I'm really starting to be committed to it...
Love love love from my heart to yours,
--Beth
Today I plan on leaving for the gym soon. I had a nice cup of yogurt with granola in it for breakfast. Gym, shower, then a quick lunch before I leave for school (2:00 Chorus class). I woke up this morning with the shivers, both because it was freezing in my house and because I had one of those anxiety producing dreams. This one was really strange and symbolic though: my brother and I were on our way to do something important, and I stopped to touch a bird. Why was I touching the bird? Why did the bird let me get close enough to touch it? I don't know. :) It was a beautiful red robin...and then the robin started to peck at me violently. That was pretty terrifying. So my brother ran to get something to use to anesthetize it, and in the process I accidentally consumed some, too. My ears started to slowly lose their hearing (like when you pass out), and I was really panicking. That's when the dream ended and I woke up. ?? STRANGE.
So yesterday I went to personal training with Lindsey. I think it may become a weekly thing. Her trainer (who is also named Beth) lost 35 pounds after college. Now she's basically a gym Goddess. :) She ran a marathon recently (and I know she's run them before that). This gives me hope. Since 35 pounds would be an amazing amount for me to lose, I felt like I could relate to her and not be so bitter about weighing in, or feel embarrassed about my current weight. Anyway, I bet if I stick to my good eating habits, don't eat before bed, and go to the gym everyday this week, I could lose two pounds by Sunday. That is my hope and prayer.
Anyway...I feel like this 180 thing is consuming a lot of my time! I guess that's good, because I'm really starting to be committed to it...
Love love love from my heart to yours,
--Beth
Saturday, February 20, 2010
God it's good to be alive.
I'm finally starting to enjoy this healthy living thing. Get ready for how proud you are about to be of me: this week I have gone to the gym four times. Every time I have run at least a mile (usually two) and I think three out of the four times I have joined in a class. I did spin, kickboxing, and yoga. It's been a pretty amazing week. The best part? I've finally started to knuckle down with this eating thing. Yesterday I went grocery shopping. Wanna hear my list? (Well, I don't care if you want to. I'm going to tell you anyway.) Breakfasts: Oatmeal, Yogurt, Granola, Eggs, Turkey Bacon, Wheat bread. All of these are the healthy kinds...Non-Fat Yogurt, Bear Granola, etc. Lunches: Lean lunch meat, Celery Sticks, Baby Carrot Sticks, Lite ranch dressing. Salad Fixings. Lite Salad Dressing. Dinners: Lean Cuisines, Ground Turkey, Scallopini Chicken Breasts, Whole Wheat Pasta, Lite Ragu, Broccoli, etc. I think a big key ingredient in this eating thing is to do it every four hours. And not before bed. Apples with PB are a really great snack when you're craving something sweet. !!
I know that if I continue to do this, I will see some changes. That is encouraging.
Thanks to mom for doing the e-mail food journal with me!
Love to all of you in your own changes,
--Beth
I know that if I continue to do this, I will see some changes. That is encouraging.
Thanks to mom for doing the e-mail food journal with me!
Love to all of you in your own changes,
--Beth
Thursday, February 18, 2010
30th post, and finally on to something. I think.
Hey dears,
I went to my first spin class tonight. WOAH. It kicked my butt. I was sweating buckets by the end of that thing. The last two weeks have been great for working out. For those of you who follow facebook, I've been running two miles almost everyday. However, I still can't seem to get my eating in line. So yesterday my mom and I made a pact to start e-mailing each other accountability e-mails. I e-mail her everything I've eaten in a day, and she e-mails me all of the wine she has consumed in a night. :) It's great. We are both going to benefit from this, I think. I have also asked Lindsey to do the cruel and unusual and anytime we are out for a meal (or eating at home), she is supposed to tell me to STAY AWAY FROM THE DESSERTS AND OVERINDULGENCE IN CARBS. Just don't do it. I can tell for a good solid month this is going to be a big chore for me, but I'm ready to finally knuckle down. I've just been skirting around the issue for awhile.
In other news, I found this awesome blog by a friend of mine and her buddies: http://www.drdietcrazy.com/2010_02_01_archive.html. She has already lost thirty pounds on this insane diet/workout routine, and I'm very proud of her for beating the monster that is the biologically female metabolism. Also a little bit jealous. I'll get there. :) It's all very encouraging stuff, and incredibly humorous, too.
So. That is my update for you, friends.
Love,
--Beth
I went to my first spin class tonight. WOAH. It kicked my butt. I was sweating buckets by the end of that thing. The last two weeks have been great for working out. For those of you who follow facebook, I've been running two miles almost everyday. However, I still can't seem to get my eating in line. So yesterday my mom and I made a pact to start e-mailing each other accountability e-mails. I e-mail her everything I've eaten in a day, and she e-mails me all of the wine she has consumed in a night. :) It's great. We are both going to benefit from this, I think. I have also asked Lindsey to do the cruel and unusual and anytime we are out for a meal (or eating at home), she is supposed to tell me to STAY AWAY FROM THE DESSERTS AND OVERINDULGENCE IN CARBS. Just don't do it. I can tell for a good solid month this is going to be a big chore for me, but I'm ready to finally knuckle down. I've just been skirting around the issue for awhile.
In other news, I found this awesome blog by a friend of mine and her buddies: http://www.drdietcrazy.com/2010_02_01_archive.html. She has already lost thirty pounds on this insane diet/workout routine, and I'm very proud of her for beating the monster that is the biologically female metabolism. Also a little bit jealous. I'll get there. :) It's all very encouraging stuff, and incredibly humorous, too.
So. That is my update for you, friends.
Love,
--Beth
Saturday, February 13, 2010
true love--
Hi.
In the spirit of valentine's day, I've been having a lot of thoughts about true love. What is it? Does it only come from one person? Do you have more than one shot at finding your soul mate? What exactly is a soul mate? I feel like we live in a world where true love comes at a small price. After a year of living for those cheap fixes, I really want to change. I can feel the reason I buy each small cure and each meal. I look at the people I admire the most, and the way that they live so simply, and sometimes I feel ashamed. Other times I just think that we all have different ways of approaching this world.
An old friend and I sat down over tea the other night and she told me that she felt like there was so much of me that changed after freshman year of college. She said that she was scared for me, because I've always been a romantic...But some of that dreamy carefree nature was lost due to circumstances and sadness. I think part of this 180 is gaining back my belief in true love. I think part of it is realizing I don't need to sell myself short in order to be happy...In fact, happiness requires just the opposite.
This week I was really proud of myself for running four out of the seven days (maybe even five counting tomorrow)! I ran two miles each time, making a total of eight miles for the week. I sweat like a crazy person, and enjoyed every minute. (Ok, maybe not every minute. There were a few where I wanted to jump off the treadmill and collapse.) I'm planning to run a 5k in April with Lindsey, and I'm really excited for it. 3.5 miles isn't that crazy for me, right?
So my point is: I'm still learning what this love thing is. I'm hoping by the time I've figured it out it will be a full picture, perfect in all the right places...not naive or jaded, but simple and beautiful.
That's all for now.
--Beth
In the spirit of valentine's day, I've been having a lot of thoughts about true love. What is it? Does it only come from one person? Do you have more than one shot at finding your soul mate? What exactly is a soul mate? I feel like we live in a world where true love comes at a small price. After a year of living for those cheap fixes, I really want to change. I can feel the reason I buy each small cure and each meal. I look at the people I admire the most, and the way that they live so simply, and sometimes I feel ashamed. Other times I just think that we all have different ways of approaching this world.
An old friend and I sat down over tea the other night and she told me that she felt like there was so much of me that changed after freshman year of college. She said that she was scared for me, because I've always been a romantic...But some of that dreamy carefree nature was lost due to circumstances and sadness. I think part of this 180 is gaining back my belief in true love. I think part of it is realizing I don't need to sell myself short in order to be happy...In fact, happiness requires just the opposite.
This week I was really proud of myself for running four out of the seven days (maybe even five counting tomorrow)! I ran two miles each time, making a total of eight miles for the week. I sweat like a crazy person, and enjoyed every minute. (Ok, maybe not every minute. There were a few where I wanted to jump off the treadmill and collapse.) I'm planning to run a 5k in April with Lindsey, and I'm really excited for it. 3.5 miles isn't that crazy for me, right?
So my point is: I'm still learning what this love thing is. I'm hoping by the time I've figured it out it will be a full picture, perfect in all the right places...not naive or jaded, but simple and beautiful.
That's all for now.
--Beth
Monday, February 8, 2010
two miles two miles two miles.
Today was refreshing. I made a goal, and I stuck to it even though every fiber of my being was telling me to stay in bed the entire day. I slept until probably noon (because Mondays and Wednesdays are set up for me to do that), and got a phone call from Jess telling me that I should get my butt out of bed and enjoy the day. It was pretty beautiful out, after all. I made myself tomato soup and a sandwich and watched a bit of tv, then showered and rushed my butt out of the house to get on the road for class.
I saw Rose P. at school which was cool, had a little chat with her, grabbed a cup of coffee and went to Chorus. After Chorus I had promised myself I'd go to the gym and run two miles straight, and I did. For the first time in AWHILE I made it to two. I was so proud of myself, and so sweaty, and it was so nice. It made the week behind me disappear. The entire time I was running, I kept thinking "This feels so good, if only I could do this everyday..." I bet I could. It's one of those mind over matter things. I'm going to go day by day though, instead of just saying YES I'M GOING TO DO THAT EVERYDAY. We all know how my over-zealous nature gets in the way sometimes. So tomorrow I'm challenging myself to make it to the gym early and take that run before class. It's going to be a big big challenge. I'll keep it at two miles. That was hard enough. :)
Tomorrow is going to be a bit rough because it's a busy day: class from 9:30-3:15, then a gig in CT. Gotta knuckle down and just do it though. That's what Jess was saying to me: I should motivate myself with something special I can do in the morning, then JUST DO THE HARD STUFF.
I think this running thing is a really great outlet for all that emotional energy I have. It's gotta go somewhere, right? I've got to pour it out.
CATHARTIC RELEASE. ENDORPHINS. GOTTA DO IT.
I saw Rose P. at school which was cool, had a little chat with her, grabbed a cup of coffee and went to Chorus. After Chorus I had promised myself I'd go to the gym and run two miles straight, and I did. For the first time in AWHILE I made it to two. I was so proud of myself, and so sweaty, and it was so nice. It made the week behind me disappear. The entire time I was running, I kept thinking "This feels so good, if only I could do this everyday..." I bet I could. It's one of those mind over matter things. I'm going to go day by day though, instead of just saying YES I'M GOING TO DO THAT EVERYDAY. We all know how my over-zealous nature gets in the way sometimes. So tomorrow I'm challenging myself to make it to the gym early and take that run before class. It's going to be a big big challenge. I'll keep it at two miles. That was hard enough. :)
Tomorrow is going to be a bit rough because it's a busy day: class from 9:30-3:15, then a gig in CT. Gotta knuckle down and just do it though. That's what Jess was saying to me: I should motivate myself with something special I can do in the morning, then JUST DO THE HARD STUFF.
I think this running thing is a really great outlet for all that emotional energy I have. It's gotta go somewhere, right? I've got to pour it out.
CATHARTIC RELEASE. ENDORPHINS. GOTTA DO IT.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
rant--
I'm sick of the following things (some related to my project, some not):
-going to the mall and trying on clothes only to find that I've grown a size and feeling like shit as a result
-saying I'm going to eat healthy all week long and then making it to Thursday and pigging out on brownies or ice cream and feeling like shit as a result.
-only making it to the gym 2-3 times a week and...(you fill in the blank)
-weighing in and finding that I've gained 2 or 3 pounds instead of losing it like I've set out to do from the beginning
-being an emotional mess because of my own choices
-the gender binary
-people who think just because I have boobs that means I want to shop in the "ladies" section of the store
-not getting my period for a month and a half and then having cramps that feel like earthquakes because of it.
-never having time for the things I really want to do (i.e. music) because of schoolwork/chores
-having two chins (this one is kind of funny I guess)
-worrying about what I'll look like in the future if I keep on going like this
-feeling my pants get tighter and tighter
MAYBE I SHOULD LOOK AT THIS LIST EVERY TIME I WANT TO MAKE A BAD CHOICE FOR MYSELF.
Today was a hard day. I really could use some encouragement and also some self-discipline.
--Beth
-going to the mall and trying on clothes only to find that I've grown a size and feeling like shit as a result
-saying I'm going to eat healthy all week long and then making it to Thursday and pigging out on brownies or ice cream and feeling like shit as a result.
-only making it to the gym 2-3 times a week and...(you fill in the blank)
-weighing in and finding that I've gained 2 or 3 pounds instead of losing it like I've set out to do from the beginning
-being an emotional mess because of my own choices
-the gender binary
-people who think just because I have boobs that means I want to shop in the "ladies" section of the store
-not getting my period for a month and a half and then having cramps that feel like earthquakes because of it.
-never having time for the things I really want to do (i.e. music) because of schoolwork/chores
-having two chins (this one is kind of funny I guess)
-worrying about what I'll look like in the future if I keep on going like this
-feeling my pants get tighter and tighter
MAYBE I SHOULD LOOK AT THIS LIST EVERY TIME I WANT TO MAKE A BAD CHOICE FOR MYSELF.
Today was a hard day. I really could use some encouragement and also some self-discipline.
--Beth
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