Wednesday, December 29, 2010

dates are booked. can't wait.

so. I got on the phone yesterday afternoon to book a date to record. we'll be going into the studio on March 5th (Signature Sounds studio, only the coolest place ever)! ! ! my musicians and I will pack up the car on Friday night that weekend, head down to Pomfret, eat dinner with Mark (our sound engineer), and set up the studio. the next day we'll spend an entire 8-10 hours recording as many songs as we can perfectly, possibly live. we'll see. Mark said that he really wants to highlight the glock parts on this record, and I'm excited to hear what that will sound like. I can see that really working...especially because I love Rachel and everyone else loves her parts whenever she plays with me. I'm totally and completely stoked for this day! we'll spend the majority of February working our butts off and polishing the hell out of these songs. it's going to be great. :)

in the meantime, I need to fundraise. I have enough to go into the studio for the one day, but I do not have the extra it will take to duplicate the record or mix and master it. so that's another story. hehe. if you're reading this and you want to donate, go here: http://www.feedthemuse.net/bethcolegrove

I need about $2000 in order to duplicate, mix, and master. let's keep the checks coming!

I have a whole crapload of other stuff going on, too. I'm moving in with Lindsey tomorrow. OMG. I just ordered something on Barnes and Noble's website and used my NEW address! so crazy. I'm shopping for jobs (still). I'm going on a roadtrip in another week. and and and. so much. it's unbelievable how wide-open my life is. I wake up in the morning and am excited for what comes next. it's great to have that feeling.

love yourself so you can love others,

--Beth

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

a little freaked out, but hopeful. :)

I am officially a graduate. ! ! ! I went and checked my grades this morning, and I had 3 Bs (B+, B-, B), an A, and a P. :) I am so so happy with that.

Now what?

I'm sure every graduate has this feeling in some capacity. for me it's a feeling of an open road ahead of me...I'm completely unaware of what comes next. I can see it going several ways. scenario 1: I find a full time job by the end of this month, I gig on weekends and nights. scenario 2: no full time job, so I pick up another part time. I work two jobs and gig a ton. scenario 3: no full time, no part time, I work at waltham as much as I can, playing gigs and just scraping by. HOPEFULLY it'll be scenario 1, but I could deal with any of them. I know I won't be turned out on the street either way, which is more than I can say for some of my friends. I'm lucky that way. am I nervous? yes. am I so nervous that it's disabling? no.

I've been putting out resumes left and right, and I'm hoping that at least one of them will lead me to a job. if not, I can get by. I will. I have a family that loves and supports me and a girlfriend who will stick by no matter what. (notice how I'm reassuring myself? haha...)

what I'm praying for is a phone call from Luis in the next two weeks telling me that I got the job at children's. however, I know that's a pipe dream because he probably interviewed a handful of other candidates that were more qualified than I am. we'll see?

all I know is that as an aspiring musician, a full time job with benefits would allow me to do what I want to do worry free. and I want to be fairly worry free! so I'm going to keep sending out resumes. five a day, ideally. keep me in your prayers, friends.

Lindsey is back from Spain, which is a nice big sigh for me. :) after a sweet Christmas, she is home to keep me warm and snuggly. she had a good time, but I can tell she's glad to be back. long trips can be taxing. today's plan: work, picking her up and cleaning her car off so she can go to her massage this afternoon, and trying to make it to the rmv to get my new car registered! I have a new car and a new guitar to start the new year. and my new life as a recent graduate. so many changes in my life, but all good ones...all in an upward direction.

looking back, I'm not really sure how I made it here. I have friends who dropped out of college because it was just too hard, transferred out of Boston, you name it. it could have been me when I think about my freshman year. I was miserable. but I stuck it out, stayed here, and I'm so glad that I did. Boston is really home now.

I move into my apartment with Lindsey on Thursday. dad's helping me load a truck up. I'm so so glad. it's time for a change of location. even if it's not the perfect place for us, we're still able to share it, and that's a big deal. I start packing tomorrow. haha...

I plan on taking a road trip with her to NYC, probably next weekend. my 'rents gave me some money for a trip to celebrate graduation (so nice), and I want to spend it on a weekend in the city, just enjoying life and going for fancy dinners, staying in a nice hotel. we'll probably drive my new car there, park it in a garage for two days and spend the rest of the weekend on foot. her friend Amy lives in the city and so we might have a meal or two with her. go explore all the cute little nooks in the city, maybe go to chinatown, see some art museums. :) I can't wait.

in other news, I've made a decision about how I want to do this record. I want to get Rachel, Jeff, and Kevin to nail down a few dates in February to really rehearse the hell out of some songs. then in March when we're ready, we'll go to Signature Sounds Studio for a full day and lay down as many tracks as we can perfectly. that will be the record. mixing, mastering, and duplication will come once I have the cash. I realized that I want this to be a simple project; something that's really me in a record, but isn't too complex. something gentle.

so. many exciting and daunting things. goodness to come.

<3

--Beth

Friday, December 24, 2010

new gym schedule/list of triggers

I've decided to incorporate some discipline into my routine once I get home from Christmas. so here it is!

Monday: outdoor run. start with 3 miles.

Tuesday: half hour weights, 1 mile on the treadmill.

Wednesday: treadmill run. 3 miles.

Thursday: half hour weights, 1 mile on the treadmill.

Friday: outdoor run. 4 miles.

Saturday: off.

Sunday: off.


triggers (things that make me over-eat or skip the gym):


-needy friends

-work stress

-fatigue (lack of sleep)

-going out for dinner with friends/Lindsey

-family stress

-tiny candies in the work place, or things that roomies leave around the house. if I eat one, then I will eventually eat five.

so I know what I can do to combat these things. obviously there will be slip-ups. but practice makes perfect. it's just like learning an instrument. I need the discipline of practice.

ok? ok. no more excuses. just do it for me. do it because I want to do it.

--Beth

Thursday, December 23, 2010

January hit you like a ball and chain, like cigarettes in the pouring rain...

why do we celebrate new years? I'm sure there is some logical/historical reason for the holiday, but the fact is it all seems a little silly. there's that rule that says wherever you are on new years eve is where you'll be for the rest of the year...in some capacity. so if I'm at home watching tv, I'll be a couch potato. if I'm out seeing music, I'll be producing/watching/playing music for the rest of the year. silly. very very silly. so people scramble to find new years plans. it's like if I don't have a plan, then I have no dignity for the rest of the year.

I think it's more likely about having a fresh start than anything else; humans make mistakes and mess up so often that we sometimes need to just say "ok, let's try again". :) my current housemate has a tradition with her best friend. whenever they've had an awful week, or a bad month, they start a new year. they say "happy new year" to each other on facebook and over the phone, and it's the cutest thing ever. plus, it gives them the opportunity to start fresh with someone that they love. lord knows I could use a new start on a few things...but this year is a lot better than others. I know last year, I was DYING for new years eve to come along so that I could forget about the year behind me and start again. and lo and behold, it worked. I got off my ass, boosted my grades, fell in love, etc. this year I'm a little sad to see 2010 go. but I always welcome change--after all, as cliche as this sounds: it's one of the only constants in this silly arbitrary life.

things that I would like to be shiny again include my weight loss/workout routine, a job (hopefully a new one), my folk career, and my living situation. but--this year I feel like my list is full of things that I want to improve on, not change completely. that, I am grateful for. of course I am sure that I can discover a thing or two that needs to be completely revamped in the next few days. ;)

I think December often feels like a waiting period. there's all this build up to the new year, to Christmas, to the birth of Christ...I like this Jason Myles Goss lyric: "December is a heaven that the angels hide". that is how I feel in the month of waiting. like it's almost magical. the first snow fall, giddy Christmas shopping, guiltless indulgences (mmn...Christmas fudge), and long Buffy marathons when I get home from work to pass the time until I drive up to be with family. waiting. I feel like it's this historical and long embedded form of waiting that everyone experiences, though.


well. let's love each other through the waiting, yes?

--Beth

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

I'm at work right now. nice morning, very peaceful. I got here around 9, did my admin stuff with kidtrax, cleaned up a bit, and now I'm just chillin. I did my devotional right here at the front desk, wrote in my journal, and now I'm blog-a-logging. I just read this article that was pretty thought provoking:

http://www.cnn.com/2010/TRAVEL/12/21/tsa.patdown.sex.crime.victims/index.html?hpt=C2

it's all about the TSA and the recent pat-downs/x-rays they've been doing. the thought had crossed my mind that this could be a giant trigger for those who have been victims of sexual abuse or rape, child porn, etc...and then I saw this article and it confirmed my fears. these poor people are afraid to leave their houses because of the TSA. is this right? I think not. as someone who has people very close who have experienced abuse or rape, I am highly offended by the new security measures that have been enforced. for the emotional and physical safety of survivors, I think this should be put to rest. just personal opinion.

I love going on CNN and reading about what's going on in the world. sometimes it gets to be a bit much though, and I've even admitted to my mother that I get anxious before bed and leave the hall light on after I've read about a murder. it's horrible, and arbitrary, and yet it's all so planned. scary. but then I read articles about miraculous things that happen (like the one about the humpback whale that was trapped in a net and nudged her heroes in thanksgiving), and I am encouraged. because life can be horrible and arbitrary, but it can also be wonderful and arbitrary. that's why we keep getting up in the morning, right?

in other news, I've been feeling more and more encouraged about a new start for January with some more weight-loss. when I'm ready, I'll make some new goals and incentives. maybe when I've lost the initial 2-5 pounds? once again, this time around it's all about enjoying it, not forcing it. there's a picture in my head of this skinny free-spirited me, and I know that I'm part of the way there. I just need to go the extra mile.

after I finish blogging, it's back to the job hunt. I really want to work at Children's, so I'm starting there. but I'm going to extend my reach to other kid's hospitals and definitely continue to consider jobs at residential facilities. I was encouraged when I applied for a child-life specialist position. I didn't realize that the qualifications needed for the position were a degree in child development or a related field (BA). I always thought you needed to be specifically certified in child-life, but at Children's I guess they must train you on the job. interesting. that's something I can see myself loving.

anywho. the other thing I need to get back on is making this record, booking some gigs for the spring, and being a musician again. :) I've raised 1000. I'm half way considering beginning the initial recording process and then going where my heart tells me to from there. thoughts? fellow musicians, is this something that you would advise me to do? I can afford two days of in studio at this point, and I think I could get most of my basic tracks down with that. I've been thinking about my band, and I really enjoyed the set up of my last passim show. Rachel, Jeff, Kevin, and I have good chemistry and sound good together...even if Jeff's parts are a little more sparse on the record since he will be acting as partial producer. I know that I want this record to be simple but unique. no drums, light bass tracks. good harmonies, some unexpected instruments, and I want the lyricism and vocal stylings to stand out more than anything.

I'm looking forward to it.

where there is hatred, sow love, friends.
--Beth

Sunday, December 19, 2010

a new nephew, graduation, job interviews, general craziness...



so...a lot has happened in the last year. my nephew was born yesterday afternoon at about 4:45 PM, and that was amazing! his name is River, and he is 8 pounds and 3 ounces of love. I got to hold him a couple of hours after his birth. he is so precious. those little hands/ears/eyes...it's so crazy to be an aunt and to have graduated and to be starting this whole new life in about two weeks.

I feel like I have done a 180. I kept true to that promise. I've lost a good chunk of the bad habits I used to have. but in the spirit of change, I think I may re-title this blog. the days of forcing myself to be better are over. the days of feeling blessed to be able to change are here. I think that this coming year should be about strength and open hands; maybe I'll go back to that place in my life when I asked more questions about what it was I was supposed to do. I truly do believe that everyone has a calling in life. there's something special we're all made to do. I really do stand by the place in my heart for divine intercession and "everything happens for a reason", so with that said:

I'm here God--make me an instrument of your peace.


--Beth