I'm at work right now. nice morning, very peaceful. I got here around 9, did my admin stuff with kidtrax, cleaned up a bit, and now I'm just chillin. I did my devotional right here at the front desk, wrote in my journal, and now I'm blog-a-logging. I just read this article that was pretty thought provoking:

http://www.cnn.com/2010/TRAVEL/12/21/tsa.patdown.sex.crime.victims/index.html?hpt=C2

it's all about the TSA and the recent pat-downs/x-rays they've been doing. the thought had crossed my mind that this could be a giant trigger for those who have been victims of sexual abuse or rape, child porn, etc...and then I saw this article and it confirmed my fears. these poor people are afraid to leave their houses because of the TSA. is this right? I think not. as someone who has people very close who have experienced abuse or rape, I am highly offended by the new security measures that have been enforced. for the emotional and physical safety of survivors, I think this should be put to rest. just personal opinion.

I love going on CNN and reading about what's going on in the world. sometimes it gets to be a bit much though, and I've even admitted to my mother that I get anxious before bed and leave the hall light on after I've read about a murder. it's horrible, and arbitrary, and yet it's all so planned. scary. but then I read articles about miraculous things that happen (like the one about the humpback whale that was trapped in a net and nudged her heroes in thanksgiving), and I am encouraged. because life can be horrible and arbitrary, but it can also be wonderful and arbitrary. that's why we keep getting up in the morning, right?

in other news, I've been feeling more and more encouraged about a new start for January with some more weight-loss. when I'm ready, I'll make some new goals and incentives. maybe when I've lost the initial 2-5 pounds? once again, this time around it's all about enjoying it, not forcing it. there's a picture in my head of this skinny free-spirited me, and I know that I'm part of the way there. I just need to go the extra mile.

after I finish blogging, it's back to the job hunt. I really want to work at Children's, so I'm starting there. but I'm going to extend my reach to other kid's hospitals and definitely continue to consider jobs at residential facilities. I was encouraged when I applied for a child-life specialist position. I didn't realize that the qualifications needed for the position were a degree in child development or a related field (BA). I always thought you needed to be specifically certified in child-life, but at Children's I guess they must train you on the job. interesting. that's something I can see myself loving.

anywho. the other thing I need to get back on is making this record, booking some gigs for the spring, and being a musician again. :) I've raised 1000. I'm half way considering beginning the initial recording process and then going where my heart tells me to from there. thoughts? fellow musicians, is this something that you would advise me to do? I can afford two days of in studio at this point, and I think I could get most of my basic tracks down with that. I've been thinking about my band, and I really enjoyed the set up of my last passim show. Rachel, Jeff, Kevin, and I have good chemistry and sound good together...even if Jeff's parts are a little more sparse on the record since he will be acting as partial producer. I know that I want this record to be simple but unique. no drums, light bass tracks. good harmonies, some unexpected instruments, and I want the lyricism and vocal stylings to stand out more than anything.

I'm looking forward to it.

where there is hatred, sow love, friends.
--Beth