January hit you like a ball and chain, like cigarettes in the pouring rain...

why do we celebrate new years? I'm sure there is some logical/historical reason for the holiday, but the fact is it all seems a little silly. there's that rule that says wherever you are on new years eve is where you'll be for the rest of the year...in some capacity. so if I'm at home watching tv, I'll be a couch potato. if I'm out seeing music, I'll be producing/watching/playing music for the rest of the year. silly. very very silly. so people scramble to find new years plans. it's like if I don't have a plan, then I have no dignity for the rest of the year.

I think it's more likely about having a fresh start than anything else; humans make mistakes and mess up so often that we sometimes need to just say "ok, let's try again". :) my current housemate has a tradition with her best friend. whenever they've had an awful week, or a bad month, they start a new year. they say "happy new year" to each other on facebook and over the phone, and it's the cutest thing ever. plus, it gives them the opportunity to start fresh with someone that they love. lord knows I could use a new start on a few things...but this year is a lot better than others. I know last year, I was DYING for new years eve to come along so that I could forget about the year behind me and start again. and lo and behold, it worked. I got off my ass, boosted my grades, fell in love, etc. this year I'm a little sad to see 2010 go. but I always welcome change--after all, as cliche as this sounds: it's one of the only constants in this silly arbitrary life.

things that I would like to be shiny again include my weight loss/workout routine, a job (hopefully a new one), my folk career, and my living situation. but--this year I feel like my list is full of things that I want to improve on, not change completely. that, I am grateful for. of course I am sure that I can discover a thing or two that needs to be completely revamped in the next few days. ;)

I think December often feels like a waiting period. there's all this build up to the new year, to Christmas, to the birth of Christ...I like this Jason Myles Goss lyric: "December is a heaven that the angels hide". that is how I feel in the month of waiting. like it's almost magical. the first snow fall, giddy Christmas shopping, guiltless indulgences (mmn...Christmas fudge), and long Buffy marathons when I get home from work to pass the time until I drive up to be with family. waiting. I feel like it's this historical and long embedded form of waiting that everyone experiences, though.


well. let's love each other through the waiting, yes?

--Beth