I am my mother's only son...it's enough

this morning I got an e-mail containing constructive criticism from a venue manager. he was saying he'd like to see more of a professional website from me, something that's a little more accessible than myspace. he also commented on the fact that I haven't played a show since October (which was deliberate...trying to graduate, etc). now I know he meant well; I think I just opened it and had a freak out moment. I take advice like this to heart, especially when it comes from someone I respect, or someone who is an authority figure in my life. I've obsessed over it since this morning. it's a habit I picked up from my mother...recently when I've gotten on the phone with her and she's made a mistake at work or had a bad interaction with a friend, I hear so much of myself in her.

more importantly, when she tells me about these imperfections in her day, I try and let her off the hook. because she is so so hard on herself, and so am I.

I know I'm called to play music and to heal people through it--I don't yet know what that will look like in my future. so much of me wants to be a full-time folk-singer, but I've seen how hard it is balancing the business end and the feelings end. I'm great at the feelings--not so much the business. I'm type B. I know I have it in me to be completely on top of my game, I just haven't had the resources to do so until now. and even now it's going to be a month or so before I can afford a real website, and even more months before I can put out my record.

I've seen how talent and business have to go hand in hand; you can't just have the talent. (unfortunately, sometimes you can just have the business. lolz.) I've seen great folk-singers get swept under the rug because they weren't up for the "dog eat dog" mentality.

I don't know, I'm just thinking out loud I guess.

my point is, slow and steady wins the race. like I've said in previous posts, take the criticism in stride and make something beautiful out of it. then we'll see.

love yourselves (first) and the rest will follow,

--Beth