the soul is made of such a thread--no matter how it tears it always tries to mend.

thought provoking day.

I woke up early to go to weight watchers. they've begun a new plan called the "points plus" plan. basically it comes down to adding a point or two more for carb heavy meals, not counting fruits and vegetables, and piling on some more points for every weight watchers member. I think it's a step in the right direction. I really needed something new, so I'm happy about it. I think it will help me to keep on burning those calories and stay optimistic.

I went over to gold's gym and checked the scene out. it looks good...cheap for a year, classes, and nice people. nobody was trying to talk me into bringing a friend or paying more money.

after that I stayed in bed and bummed around a little bit more. typical sunday morning things--laundry, dishes, etc.

then I met a friend in harvard square for some tea. this was when I began to feel strange. lately the stress has just been piling on...graduating, finding a full-time job, moving into a new place, getting by every month on the money I have, and let's not forget family holidays. in any case, what I normally do when I'm stressed is eat. I've been turning to that the last couple of weeks, and I gotta say, it's not really helping. today I decided to have some candy and call it quits after that, but more recently it's been chicken wings, french fries, burgers, chocolate (and all in the same day sometimes). I hate myself even more for it after all is said and done, and it increases my stress level. so this week I'm going to try the new plan. I'm not going to eat any junk, and I'm going to keep my sugar level low. hopefully this will make my stress even more manageable. there's a light at the end of the tunnel; only two weeks or so left of class.

tonight I went to bertucci's for salad with lindsey. we had some good conversation and met some cool people in the square. it made me remember that I should keep my eyes open to strangers. selfishness is over-rated. this week/month I'm going to try something new: the next time I want to go out and eat a huge meal that my stomach can't afford, I'm going to buy something healthy for someone who needs it more. typically I overeat when I'm worried about someone else who I love (or myself), and this could be a way of taking care of someone in a tangible sense and taking care of myself by refusing to eat the pain.

right now I'm listening to the tracks I have so far for the new record. I'm really seeing a story starting to form with all of these songs. I love it when a theme develops in a new project without my effort. it's like all of these songs just fit together in a weird sort of coincidental way. this record is going to be different and I can't wait to actually record it and put it out. just need about $3000. I already have $1000 raised.

well...that's about it for tonight! here's to a good monday.

be good to yourselves so that you can be good to those you love,

--Beth